Stupid Love

I think I know why I have had such a difficult time writing posts.

I wanted this to be a serious writing blog, but the problem is that I am not a serious person. I’m responsible and usually think about things before I do them, but I’m not serious.

I’m a slightly odd divorced mother who loves writing and making people laugh. So I’m going to abandon the serious blog idea, and just be me.

And that brings me to what I was thinking about yesterday.

Have you ever made an idiot of yourself when it comes to love? My problem is that I am a compulsive “Fixer”. If something is broken, mend it. If there is a problem, sort it out. I would be the poster child for the Beatles song “We can work it out”.

So that makes me carry on working at relationships when the other person has lost interest. I’ve never done anything really stupid. No stalking or leaving inappropriate messages on their Facebook newsfeed… but I usually end up writing them one last letter/email, where I bear my heart and let them know once and for all what I really feel.

Sometimes I get a polite “Sorry, goodbye” message. Usually, the guy just ignores it and hopes I will go away, which I do.

And then I feel very very foolish that I opened myself up to that person, just to be rejected again. I shake my head at myself, and wish that I hadn’t bothered.

But then, once I have gotten over the initial embarrassment, I realise that I have actually done the right thing. I have told that person exactly what I feel. There is nothing more to be said. I can walk away from that relationship knowing that I have done everything I could to make it work.

Maybe I have been watching too many romantic dramas, where two people lose out on happiness because of some misunderstanding that could have been sorted out by simply talking to each other. I don’t want to leave anything unsaid, so that there can be no misunderstandings. No confusion.

I do feel slightly stupid, and a little embarrassed and a tiny bit foolish, but I loved him, and when you love someone, you give them the best of yourself.

And just in case there is anyone else out there who has done something silly because they loved someone, I will end off with one of the last scenes from the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”

It made me feel a whole lot better about myself…

Alex:   Why do women do this? Build up this stuff in their minds…Take each little thing a guy does and then twist it into something else? It’s insane.

Gigi:    I’d rather be like that than be like you.

Alex:    Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?

Gigi:    I may dissect each little thing, and put myself out there too much, but at least that means I still care. Oh, you think you’ve won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way…but you don’t fall in love that way either. You have not won. You’re alone, Alex. I may do a lot of stupid shit, but I know I’m a lot closer to finding someone than you are.


3 thoughts on “Stupid Love

  1. Denise says:

    I know this is an old post but I just found your blog when I wanted to discuss the miseries of being single with someone.
    I wanted to do a serious blog as well! And then I found out I just liked chatting to people who were in a similar situation to me.
    Your blog definitely makes me laugh. It seems very quirky. And insightful. So you can be serious without even trying.

    • Julianne Alcott says:

      Dear Denise, your comments have made my day! It has been one of those blah days when I had to clean my house. You know, the moving furniture and sweeping behind it kind of cleaning, made more difficult by the fact that I fell down my stairs last night and have bruises in all sorts of places, and a glass full of red wine splashed everywhere. I read over my post Stupid Love again. What’s sad is that I still love that particular man, and the romantic attachments I formed after he broke up with me have never come close to what I had with him, Sigh!

      • Denise says:

        I wish relationships could be only the good parts. It’s a shame when things don’t work out. Despite what common sense says, you know when you are really missing something 😦 and there is no substitute 😦

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