Six Things to do When Your Ex and His New Girlfriend Join Your Gym

Number 1:  Think he’s checking you out because he wants to get back together with you.

This is unfortunately the reaction we get when we’ve been watching too many romance movies.

Number 2: Find another gym

Are you kidding! You’ve been going there for years. You know the trainers and the staff. You have history with so many people who go there. Don’t let him railroad you into leaving. You lost so much when he broke up with you… His friends, his parents, his home. A whole chunk of your life was torn out of you when he dumped you. Don’t lose out on any more because of him.

Number 3: Glare daggers at him every time you see him.

Chances are, he’s there because he’s forgotten you always go to that class. In fact, he probably doesn’t even remember that you exist. Glaring at him will just make you feel angry, and give you some unattractive wrinkles.

And anger will just eat you up inside and bring out all those old feelings again. So he said he loved you, and that you belonged together, and that he wasn’t going anywhere, and that there was no problem that the two of you couldn’t solve if you worked together…. And then a few weeks later, he broke up with you because he was bored.

He was lying to you, and that reflects more on what kind of man he was, than anything to do with you.

Yes you are angry with him for showing up in your life again, but it’s not going to make your life better if you keep that anger going.

Number 3: Send him a strongly-worded message.

If you are like me, you’ve probably deleted his phone number, and unfriended him on Facebook long ago. So getting to the point when you can actually send him a message would take a lot of time and effort that you could much rather spend doing something useful.

Okay, so you could leave a note in his postbox, but really, that’s also a waste of your precious time, and there are so many better places to use your petrol for.

Number 4: Tell him what you think of him when you run into him (and her) at the next gym class

It will feel momentarily satisfying when you get it all off your chest. After all, he was the one who broke your heart. He was the one who said you must stay out of each other’s lives.

It took countless tearful nights and lots of chocolate, but finally you moved on. You got over him. You were feeling happy and at peace with your life. You were eating healthily again, and your regular gym was starting to pay dividends.

And then you went to class one morning and BAM!

There he was, intruding into your space. Shattering your peace. Sauntering around with his new woman like they owned the place. Why not tell him exactly what you think of him?

Because gym is your space. This is where you feel beautiful and empowered. This is where you work off stress and relax.

And now you plan to ruin all of it by causing a scene in front of everyone. He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t have the roots and the ties at this place that you do. The person who is going to be embarrassed will be you.

And it won’t stop him from going there. He won’t see that bursting into your life with his new woman is hurtful. After all, if he cared about your feelings, he wouldn’t have made you all those promises and then bailed on them without a moment of remorse.

You will be the one who has now made a scene in front of your class, and will now have to face them, and him every time you go there.

Number 5:  Treat him with the same indifference he is giving you.

He said he loved you, then he said he didn’t. He said he wanted to be out of your life, and now he is back in it. Everything he has done is because you mean nothing to him.

He broke up with you and forgot about you. Seeing you at gym will do nothing to him. You are just a body he shagged a while ago and then discarded. He will walk past you and barely register that you look familiar, and then will go home and shag his girlfriend while you spend the rest of the day on Whatsapp crying about him to your friends.

He is nothing to you. Yes he might have been the man you loved more than any man ever, but he made himself nothing when he walked out of your life.

He is not worth a minute more of your brain time. So he comes to your gym now. So what… You keep on going, meeting up with your friends and making your body fit and beautiful. If you run into him, greet him casually, the way you would a particularly distant acquaintance that you haven’t thought about for years.

And spend your time and effort on enjoying your life, because you are much better off without that loser anyway!

(This post was inspired by my most recent visit to gym.)

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2 thoughts on “Six Things to do When Your Ex and His New Girlfriend Join Your Gym

  1. Susan says:

    Yes, casual and polite recognition is the most dignified approach. Maybe even a slight raised eyebrow of patronising surprise, implying that: “Gosh, you go to a gym; I didn’t think you were the physical type…” Comfort yourself with the knowledge that a great percentage of new members spend the money on the contract but the novelty wears off quickly and you may see less and less of them over time. Good luck and don’t let them compromise your own enjoyment of the place!

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